You Kill Me

I am feeling more and more lost in a hole of black, a dark never ending pit of depression. I fall freely, the shining light becoming less and less bright, invisible, a mirage. My eyes are set in a wide, sad stance, unable to change and be the happy slits they once freely were. Preparing for waterfalls to come, people to cut into a heart of the same body they are stuck within. My eyes are caged, my soul is falling apart in  pieces like a bad test. Little crumbles fall softly through the air, lightly, they fall silently as I scream inside how hurt I am, clawing at the insides of my body waiting, aching for someone to understand the pain I am in day in and day out.

Quote: "Those who cannot apologize are those who refuse to take responsibility for the wrongs in their words, and in their actions." -Kaitlyn Iliff.

This quote came to me because a person whom I have cared too much about told me he never apologizes, never says sorry. Right when he said this, I realized it might have been a mistake becoming his friend. A part of me still wants to stick with him as a friend and hope he starts to care about the feelings of others and take responsibility for his wrongs in words... Yet I might be too hurt today. He must have crossed a line. Last night he said the third hurtful thing he has spoken to me. Another trouble, he denied one of the disturbingly hurtful things he said to my face which made me get up and walk away. I might be walking away from the first friendship I have. Three things he has said to me and why he said them to me: "You introducing me to people is like ******* telling people to have sex with certain people." (He said this because if I am hanging out with him and we run into one of my friends I introduce him to them, it is a habit, me introducing people.) The second: "You stretch jokes so I can no longer laugh at them, they are not funny." (After he said this to me I said I had to go, went to my Biology class thirty minutes early after getting up and walking away, I later told him what he said hurt my feelings. This is what he denied saying, oddly I never forget the hurtful words tossed in my face. Also this statement was an insult to who I am.) The most recent and main event which crossed the line: "They ask me if we were dating and I say no, never go to clubs with girls the girls there think your dating." (I invited him along to a club, when I despise clubs because I wanted to bring him out and about, I told him it is best to go with guys and I am uncomfortable having guys who I do not know dance with me, and yet he did not have my back when I needed someone to be there for me.) He has inspired me to draw something... No it is not something nice, but it is art and someday if he sees this I hope he feels guilt and I am thinking this guilt will hurt.